Trust Must Be Earned

white-water-479828_960_720During my dating days in Montana, I went out with a bearded guy who flipped houses, rode a unicycle, and had a whitewater canoe.

Yes. You read that right. A whitewater CANOE. We got in it and flew down Rock Creek. Yes. You read that right. It was, indeed, a CREEK FULL OF ROCKS. Then, we had deep fried bull testicles at Rock Creek Lodge, home of the TESTY FESTY. Yes. You read that all right too.

Mantana. Gotta love it.

In his truck, on the way home from our day of adventure, he looked over at me as I was gazing out the window at the mountains. I was wondering what in the world I was doing with him.

IMG_3173He said, “You don’t trust me, do you?”

I said, “No.”

He said, “That’s ok. Trust must be earned.”

It was at that precise moment that my date got a whole lot sexier.

Sometimes, I want people to immediately like me, to relax around me, to know that I mean well and I want the best for them. But, in my haste to steamroll past any initial awkwardness, I forget that the best relationships are forged over time. Through conversation. After shared experiences.

Trust must be earned.

It took interstate moves and family gatherings to build my relationship with my partner. It took river trips and road trips and running trips to forge my best friendships. It took tours through Australia and New Zealand and apartments in the Haight and the Inner Sunset to bond with my sister.

Awesome relationships take time. You don’t have to steamroll through the process. Relax and enjoy the conversations, the shared experiences, the adventures.

Who do you love? Spend time with them.

Whose trust do you desire? Earn it.

Whose whitewater canoe would you get into to travel down Rock Creek? 


4 thoughts on “Trust Must Be Earned

  1. Hell no! This is literally the first time I’ve disagreed with you, and it comes down to the verb. I would say that trust is earned, but MUST be? It would seem to me that if one takes that attitude, the best course of action would be to live closed off and paranoid until someone makes an overt act that somehow proves them worthy of trust. I would prefer an ethic that encourages a little vulnerability. I don’t think it’s a great idea to loan you car to a stranger or give your bank account to a Prince from a foreign land, but assuming positive intent goes a long way.

    Trust me on this.

    ps. I’ve also met people who say respect must be earned. They tend to be real assholes.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Love hearing from you, Dan. I also love “an ethic that encourages a little vulnerability.” I’m with you on that. But, I still think “trust must be earned” is pretty sexy, what with the consonance, and, well, the earning… 🙂 LOL


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