The Struggle Ends Today

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“This is about you and your story, because, in your story, somebody can be healed.”

– Iyanla Vanzant

Valentine’s Day is coming, and I want to tell you a love story. When I was a teenager, I fell in love with my camp counselor. He was a few years older and was an actor and a guitarist who wore two different colored Converse high tops. Since it was a day camp, we were in the same town. We started talking on the phone all the time: laughing and laughing and laughing. However, I was convinced that, although I loved him, he didn’t love me.

So, I did what we all do when we really believe something: I made it come true.

I never once told him how I felt. I never went out alone with him. I invited him to events with all my friends and pointed out how great they were. He left for college and I wrote sad poetry.

Seriously. My poetry is so annoying – OMG, teenage love poems! Ughhhhh.

Telling this story makes me feel embarrassed and sad. Thinking about teenage Georgi often makes me feel embarrassed and sad.

But, my friends, the struggle ends today. Here is what I know now:

You will never be able to undo what you’ve done. But, an easy way to end the struggle with your past is to forgive a very important person.

No, not your camp counselor. Not your mother (darnit!).

First, and most importantly, forgive yourself.

  • I forgive teenage Georgi for being scared.
  • I forgive teenage Georgi for not believing that she was worthy of someone’s love.
  • I forgive teenage Georgi for believing that someone could hurt her by rejecting her.
  • I forgive teenage Georgi for not understanding how powerful and beautiful she was, and always will be.

The struggle ends today.

But… I mean… Wouldn’t it be great if my camp counselor came back telling me that he still loves me and has never loved someone else the way he loved me?

images-13No! Life is not a rom-com!!! I’ve met lots of great men after him. That was never going to happen. It happened the exact way it did so I could write this blog!!!

And no, you can’t read the poems. I’m telling you, they are a total cringefest.

Ahhh. The struggle ends today.

Dear readers, if you are arguing with your past, it’s time to stop. You’ll never win.

Instead, it’s time for a new story.

  • In my new stories, I’m not scared that other people won’t love me.
  • In my new stories, I am worthy of amazing relationships.
  • In my new stories, I am forgiving, brave, and beautiful.

The struggle ends today.

Forgive yourself for your past.

Come back to the present.

Make your incredible future come true.

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