My favorite ridiculous thing is when people say, “No one is judging you.”
Ha! Yeah right!
People are constantly judging you.
I’ve been teaching public speaking for over a decade. I’ve taught over a thousand people. I would never tell a student that no one was judging them.
People are constantly judging you. Always. And forever.
You, my cheeky human friend, are amazing at judging! Your brain sifts, sorts, categorizes, evaluates, equivocates… You constantly question: Is this person safe? Scary? Threatening? Interesting? Weird? Different? Fun?
You are a constant, never-stopping, judgment machine.
My other favorite thing is when people say, “I mean, I don’t judge people…”
Ha! Yeah right!
Yes, you do. You are constantly judging everyone around you.
So what’s my point? Why am I bringing this up? Do I want to scare you and make you anxious and suggest that you never leave the house again?
HA HA HA! No way! I absolutely love you. So let’s tell the truth:
People are constantly judging you because they are humans and they have brains, and that is totally ok. It’s perfectly fine. It’s absolutely natural. It’s never going to stop. You can’t stop your brain’s judgements, and you sure as hell can’t control the brain of another human being.
Other people’s judgements are out of your control. I teach research-based tools and tips to help people be as persuasive as possible. I can teach you the best of all persuasion research, and you can study your audience as much as possible and then…
There’s going to be someone in the audience that hates you because you remind them of their ex-girlfriend. There’s going to be a short guy in the audience that hates tall women.
Are you ready to start getting plastic surgeries to be liked?
HA HA! See what I did there? I got all dramatic on you. Some of you aren’t going to like that. You’ll judge me. You’ll say I’m flip, crass, ridiculous, and insensitive.
Here I am writing a blog anyway. Even though people are judging me. Even though people might not like me. Even though people are going to disagree with me.
Would you like to experience total joy and bliss and complete freedom? Practice detaching yourself from other people’s opinions.
Or not. Go ahead and try to please everyone…
Guess what? I have tried really hard to control other people’s opinions of me. I want everyone to like me and think I’m great. UGGGGGGGGGG…. It is so stressful and impossible and it keeps me from doing anything new or brave or interesting.
Fear of judgement keeps me and you small. Do you want to stay small? I don’t. I am not small. I am tall. And bigger than them all.
Wow! Channeled some Dr. Seuss!
What’s that? Has someone judged you lately? I’m sure they have. And yeah, even though it’s totally normal, it can really sting. I hear you. I’ve been there. I get upset. And then I calm down and think:
Hey Judgy-Pants: WHO ARE YOU? Do you love me and want the best for me? Are you inspiring and amazing? Are you smart and compassionate and kind? Are you successful? Are you Oprah Winfrey? Then WHY SHOULD I CARE WHAT YOU THINK???
Do you have to listen to what others say or follow their advice? No. Do you have to get upset about the totally human constant judgement and advising that people do? No. People get to say whatever they want.
And you get to be all like: Blah blah blahhhhhhhh! Words words words! Goodbye words! Float away! I’ve got a blog to write! I’ve got a dream to follow! I’ve got some really cool stuff to do!
Have you forgotten???
It’s YOUR LIFE. It’s YOUR TIME. It’s YOUR BODY. It’s YOUR JOB. It’s YOUR RELATIONSHIP. It’s YOUR CHILDREN. It’s YOUR STYLE. It’s YOUR CHOICE.
Gorgeous, human, judgy-pants reader: The most important judge in your life is you. Decide to love yourself no matter what. If you have a higher power that is your judge, great! I guarantee they love you no matter what. Go with that.
Loving you out there! I’m banging the gavel! I am judging you!
YOU ARE AMAZING! YOU ARE BRAVE! YOU ARE NOT SMALL! YOU ARE TALL! DO THAT THING! GO AFTER THAT DREAM! XOX