It’s a verb that can be difficult for me. Allow sadness. Allow anger. Allow urges to come and go. Allow love. Allow yourself to receive.
Since developing a mindfulness practice and observing my thoughts, I sometimes don’t want to allow myself to be sad. I can see the sad thoughts running through my mind and I want to reframe them. I want to cheer myself up immediately. I want to get over it!!!, because I can see the lies I tell myself. I know my sadness is in my thinking. I’m tired of thinking.
I don’t want to allow self-pity or sadness. And yet, fighting against those thoughts or resisting them or immediately trying to cheer myself away from them only makes them more uncomfortable and raw. Russ Harris calls it “turning on the struggle switch.”
Stop the struggle. Allow sadness. Yes, you can.
You can relax. You can breathe. You can loosen your grip. You can allow.
In “The Little Book of Big Change,” Amy Johnson offers a snowglobe metaphor for allowing.
Snowglobe! Your brain is a snowglobe! When you’re caught up in anger or sadness, the snowglobe has been shaken. Snow everywhere. Can’t see the cute little figure in the middle.
When you want a snowglobe to settle down, you don’t keep shaking it. You watch it and do not rush it. You allow it to settle. It always goes back to normal.
Wayne Dyer once said, “Remember that your natural state is joy.” I love this. At the very least, your natural state will be rest and digest. Balance. Stillness.
Sometimes I don’t trust my brain to go back to joy or calm. Sometimes I don’t think those snowflakes will ever settle, because I’m watching them and freaking out. I’m watching them and feeling cold and alone. I’m watching them without faith or trust.
When you tense up or freak out about things, they feel worse. So allow yourself to relax. Allow yourself a time out. Allow your mind to settle. Allow yourself to believe that you will always, every time, be ok.
Gorgeous, monkey brained reader: Trust that your brain will calm. Have faith that your negative emotions will come and go. Notice how no feeling lasts forever. All thoughts are passing. Negative emotion doesn’t mean you’re making mistakes. It means you’re a human being with a human brain that feels all the feelings your whole life long.
Let the storms of your life pass through.
Loving you out there. Deep breath. Let go. Let it snow. XO