Everybody loves a juicy drama. A weird diagnosis. A strange and twisted mind. A “syndrome.”
Disease. Disorder. Defect. Dysfunction. We have books full of them.
We love to think there’s something wrong with us.
There’s something wrong with me! I have a label! There’s a diagnosis! I feel better knowing that what’s wrong with me is legit something wrong with me!
Feels better to know you’re legit broken, am I right? Maybe…
Or is something about that totally wrong?
I work with a lot of powerful women. CEOs, JDs, MBAs, MDs, PhDs, sometimes even MD PhDs! And so many seem to think there is something wrong with them and their power.
Who am I to make so much money? Who am I to lead so many people? Who am I to take that job or ask for that raise? Who am I to have this amazing life? Do I deserve this? Why me?
“Imposter syndrome.” That’s what we call it. Because our culture is obsessed with drama and juice and dysfunction.
I understand the thing called imposter syndrome. I know what it feels like. I am just a fan of identifying it by its real name. Calling it out. Keeping it real and grounded.
Let’s drop the drama.
You are making an identity shift. That is all. And I’m glad. I’m glad you have imposter syndrome. It means you are stepping into a newer, bigger, extraordinary version of yourself.
And you’re scared. I get that. And it’s totally normal to be scared when you level up your life.
And you’re unsure. I get that. And it’s totally normal to be unsure when you haven’t done something before and you’re new at it.
And you’re worried. I get that. And it’s totally normal to worry when you’re promoted higher and higher and the stakes are rising.
Hey, boo. I get you. I am you. I get that you are growing. I get that you’re stepping into something new and badass and exciting. I get that you’ve been in a pattern for a while and now the pattern has changed. I get that change and uncertainty and the great unknown can stir up a lot of emotion and make you think there’s something wrong with you.
Let me say this gently, firmly, and loudly: You don’t have a syndrome. You are being called to a new you.
Do you want to take that call? It’s up to you.
How do you handle identity shifts? You face them. You bow to them. You thank them for the opportunity to grow. You feel the fear. You feel the insecurity. You cry your eyes out. You tremble. You soothe yourself. You get help from friends and family. You get professional help. You feel anger and resistance and you keep going. Only if you want to grow.
Growing keeps going. Tiny step forward. Sometimes back. Ugh! More emotion. Now forward again.
Breathe. Move your body. Take a rest. Have a break. Eat a snack. Get some sleep. Tiny step tomorrow.
You will want to turn around. You will want to go back. You will want to Netflix. You will want to slip back into comfy old you with the same old patterns and problems.
Face that. Feel it. Question your self-imposed limit. Question your comfort. Look forward again. Take another tiny step.
I love you!!! You don’t have to do any of this. Know that. Relax in that. Change is optional. You get to do whatever the hell you want with your one, precious life. Feel the truth of that land in your heart.
However, if you want to change, I invite you to NEVER let a made up “syndrome” stop you.
Keep going, love. Be courageous. I’m so glad your identity is shifting. It’s absolutely beautiful what is happening.
I see you out there. I’m saying hello to the new you. XO