The title of this blog may feel like a harsh judgement, a declaration that I think drugs and alcohol are bad and if you do them you’re a bad person.
You couldn’t be more wrong. Most adults I know have enjoyed one or both and continue to do so and I completely understand why they do. With many years of hindsight, it makes so much sense why I have chosen to dabble myself.
Common wisdom says drugs and alcohol are bad. It’s not exactly true. They are very good. They are exceptionally good for many things.
They are awesome for dulling pain. They are awesome for escaping your reality. They are awesome for instant relief from the nagging truth.
Who doesn’t want that?
Yet here’s the longterm consequence of dulling, escaping, and relieving yourself from truth: You start living lies.
I’m ok with this. This isn’t so bad.
This is as good as my life will ever be.
It’s ok for that person to treat me that way. I probably deserve it.
What I want doesn’t matter.
Other people are better than me. Prettier, more athletic, smarter. Not me.
The statements above are all lies. And if you’re anything like me, then when you think them, you’ll want to drink. You’ll want to escape. You’ll want to peace out of your current reality. Because it’s a lie.
Here are the truths you may want to face soberly:
I can have a beautiful life.
My life will continue to unfold and grow in incredible ways.
I deserve to be treated well by myself. I can slowly stop being mean to myself. I can turn to myself in love. I can listen to myself with compassion. I can soothe myself no matter what. I do not expect other people to love me and adore me. I do that for myself and set myself free.
What I want matters more than anything in the world. I matter. My desires matter. My dreams matter. My presence matters. The way I walk in the world day to day matters SO MUCH.
No one is better than I am. I am a unique and incredible human being. I get to decide that. I get to look and feel good.
It’s time for me to wake up.
It’s time for me to face reality.
It’s time for me to turn toward my incredible power.
Hey, boo! Drugs and alcohol are always an option we can choose. I have chosen to drink away a lot of pain and grief and lies.
However, lately, I’ve been getting sober and clear about my need for dulling, escaping, and avoiding my life and my brain. I see what’s going on.
I often run away from myself because there’s a lionness inside of me. She likes to roar. She is big game beautiful and ready to rule.
That realization is sometimes scary as shit and sometimes terrifically exciting. Do I want to drink her away? Frequently. But she’s not going away. And she doesn’t like being told to shut up. It makes her louder.
Beautiful reader, powerful human: Suspend dulling, escaping, and running for a minute. Get still and get quiet. Tune in. Is there a truth that you’ve buried? What does it say?
Loving you out there. Turn toward the sober truth. Face it. Be courageous and brave. It’s time to listen to the wisdom of you. XO