I Choose to Love My Exes

With giant tears in her beautiful blue eyes, a woman at the table said, “It’s just that I still love him. I still love my ex.”

We had just met at a dinner party, and she may not have been warned about me, but I burst out emphatically in response: “OF COURSE YOU DO!!! OF COURSE YOU DO!!! Who stops loving people???”

She jolted out of her weepy depressed state. Stared at me with her mouth open. I repeated myself: “Of course you do. You don’t have to stop loving him. Never. You get to love him forever.”

Her body relaxed as the thought slowly sunk in. Face, shoulders, anxious hands now incredibly relieved.

“Yeah,” she said. “I will love him forever.”

There you go. Better choice. Much, much better.

Love feels great. I love loving people. I don’t care if they love me back. I don’t know if they love me back. I may not always say “I LOVE YOU” but I think loving thoughts about people constantly. It’s none of my business if they love me back. I keep loving them.

I choose to love people because I can. Because it’s MY CHOICE. In MY MIND.

My exes are outstanding men. Smart. Handsome. Creative. Strong. Funny. Caring. Kind. Fascinating, interesting, important people. All 100% worthy and deserving of my love.

Well, you say, my ex treated me like crap. Yeah, well, I’m sorry to hear that. You can choose to hate him for the rest of your life. Or, you can think back to a moment he wasn’t crappy, and you can love him.

Well, you say, my ex did XYZ and on and on. Yeah. That sucks. You can choose to be angry and bitter for the rest of your life. Or you can think back to a delicious moment in time when you saw the best in him and you can remember that. And you can love him for it.

You get the point. You are intelligent and strong and smart. You know what I’m saying to you.

Love is a choice. It’s a choice that is always available. It’s a choice that always feels good.

Gods can unconditionally love you. Jesus Christ. Buddha. Mother Earth. And on and on. But we are human and we sometimes have a hard time getting past our humanity.

During breakups, I have been completely distraught. So full of frustration, anger, sadness. Why?

My love had nowhere to go. But it was still there.

We break up with people and still love them. We think of them for the rest of our lives. We share history.

Choose to love your ex.

Exes are incredible, amazing, important human beings in your life. They helped you grow. They helped you learn. They connected you to other people and experiences. They held you in their arms.

Life is long and most relationships don’t last forever.

But you know what? Love does. Love lasts forever.

I choose to love all my exes. Tell me: Can you think of a better choice? Me neither. I love you out there.

Choose love. XO

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